Convey Emotion, Not Melodrama

Melodrama is unrealistic, over-the-top emotion. Generally, readers hate reading it, and writers hate writing it. However, it’s hard to convey non-melodramatic emotion because A) humans like to hide their emotions, and B) description gets boring.

To illustrate, people don’t have constant external outbursts (sighing, gasping, crying, etc.) to convey their feelings. Furthermore, emotions can only be described so much. If the character’s heart is pounding or thudding or slamming against her ribcage every time she’s afraid, her fear gets repetitive and boring.

The solution? Stop describing and use introspection. Introspection is an examination of one’s own thoughts. It lets readers connect with your characters and experience their emotions through the character’s unique world-view, reactions, interpretations, and thoughts.

An example of introspection would be this excerpt from The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness:

 “Mayor Prentiss, see, has a Point of View.

 And so for almost half a stupid year, all the boys were gathered up by sad-faced Mr. Royal and plonked out here in an outbuilding away from the main Noise of the town. Not that it helped. It’s nearly impossible to teach anything in a classroom full of boys’ Noise and completely impossible to give out any sort of test. You cheat even if you don’t mean to an everybody means to.”

 Thus, Todd feels bitter toward his hometown and readers get a feel for his voice and personality. Saying, “I hate my hometown,” or “I feel my face turn sour like I’ve sucked a lemon,” isn’t as impactful.

Here’s another example from The Help by Kathryn Stockett:

“‘I wish I could just leave here,’ I say and my voice sounds eerie, with no one to hear it. In the dark, I get a glimpse of myself from way above, like in a movie. I’ve become one of those people who prowl around at night in their cars. God, I am the town’s Boo Radley, just like in To Kill a Mockingbird.”

 Instead of saying Skeeter felt depressed or alone, Stockett uses insight to help readers understand her emotions.

Finally, an example from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

“The fact is that I did not know how to understand anything! I ought to have judged by deeds and not by words. She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her… I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little stratagems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her…”



In this way, I’ve found it’s engaging and less melodramatic to read introspection versus description. How do you cut melodrama from your manuscript?

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